By Jake Steele, PC
“The thrill is gone… The thrill has gone away.” Who would have thought that a famous song popularized by B.B. King could aptly characterize a post-holiday funk that besets so many? Wrapping paper discarded, bows unraveled, stockings emptied…Yes, the thrill¾to some degree¾has gone but perhaps you’ve noticed that other emotions have claimed permanent residence and now it is you who feels unraveled, empty and discarded.
In the wake of a season epitomizing peace, joy, hope and anticipation of new beginnings, some may find themselves in circumstances that make Merry and Christmas or Happy and New Year seem like an oxymoron. Sound familiar? Might this be symptomatic of mere holiday blues or could it be a manifestation of something deeper? Let’s take a closer look.
What Causes the Holiday Blues?
Fear of disappointing others. Some people fear disappointing their loved ones during the holidays. Even though they can’t afford to spend a lot of money on gifts, some people feel so obligated to come through with a fancy gift that they spend more than they can afford.
Expecting gifts to improve relationships. Giving someone a nice present won’t necessarily strengthen a friendship or romantic relationship. When your gifts don’t produce the reactions you had hoped for, you may feel let down.
Anniversary reactions. If someone important to you passed away or left you during a past holiday season, you may become depressed as the anniversary approaches.
Bad memories. For some families, the holidays are times of chaos and confusion. This is especially true in families where people have substance abuse problems or dysfunctional ways of relating to each other. If this was true in your family in past years, you may always carry memories of the disappointment and upheaval that came with the holidays. Even though things may be better now, it is difficult to forget the times when your holidays were ruined by substance abuse and family dysfunction.
It could be SAD. People who live in northern states may experience depression during the winter because of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD results from fewer hours of sunlight as the days grow shorter during the winter months.
Strategies for Dealing with the Holiday Blues
While the holiday blues are usually temporary, these ideas can help make this year’s post-holiday experience more pleasant and less stressful.
Be realistic. Don’t expect the current or future holiday season to solve all past problems. The forced cheerfulness of the holiday season cannot ward off sadness or loneliness.
Give yourself permission not to feel cheerful. Accept how you are feeling. If you have recently experienced a loss, you can’t expect yourself to put on a happy face. Tell others how you are feeling and what you need.
Be honest. Express your feelings to those around you in a constructive, honest, and open way. If you need to confront someone with a problem, begin your sentences with “I feel.”
Give yourself special care. Schedule times to relax and pamper yourself. Take a warm bath or spend an evening with a good book.
Set limits and priorities. Be realistic about what you will be able to accomplish. Prepare a To-Do list to help you arrange your priorities.
Get some exercise. Exercise has a positive impact on depression because it boosts serotonin levels. Try to get some type of exercise at least twice each week.
Is It More than Just the Holiday Blues?
Clinical depression extends beyond just feeling sad for a few weeks. The symptoms generally include changes in appetite and sleep patterns, having less interest in daily activities, difficulty concentrating, and a general feeling of hopelessness.
Clinical depression requires professional treatment. If you are concerned that a friend or relative may be suffering from more than just holiday blues, you should express your concerns. If the person expresses thoughts of worthlessness or suicide, it is important to seek the help of a qualified mental health professional.
Be reminded. The locus of our deepest joy, value and fulfillment cannot be governed by the influence of outside opinions, or the frivolous acquisition of things that ultimately lose their luster with time. Seasons come and go; relationships wax and wane. Amidst all of the world’s fleeting events, we can trust that one thing will always remain constant: the presence and love of a Savior, a Redeemer who promises to never leave or forsake us (Heb: 13:5). With this, we can find hope and peace in the notion that it is not who we are, what we’ve done or who we know that gives us worth…Rather, it’s to whom we belong that affords us true value.
In the wake of this Christmas season, as we anticipate a new year, please remember the precious gift you’ve been given in the name, Emmanuel―God with us. The valley may be deep, the night dark and the mountain tall, but we have in our midst the Lord as our shepherd who walks not behind or ahead, but with us (Psalm 23). What blessed assurance! What good news! If your physical, emotional, mental or spiritual trek has become perilous, don’t shrink from acknowledging your condition, especially if it proves to be longstanding. It is in times like these that we seek control over situations, while failing to realize the unfailing presence of the Holy Spirit that navigates us through them.
For further information, visit these web sites:
American Psychological Association: www.apa.org
National Depressive and Manic-Depressive Association: www.ndmda.org
National Mental Health Association: www.nmha.org
